"Working with Naomi has been profoundly beneficial to me. It has been a wonderful experience to be heard, understood, and deeply appreciated. Naomi has an intuitive ability to stay with what is essential [in my writing], and to follow me to whatever depth or place I need to go. When necessary, she also guides me past limitations unseen by me. Many times she has helped me go inside a scene, and I suddenly discover a way to let it expand with life and meaning. She has always helped me to have greater compassion toward myself and my writing. It is always remarkable to me how meeting with her brings me to a creative zone of self-expression. I say this from much experience and appreciation, for we have met almost every week now for more than a year and a half."

I reached into my pocket to get some change for a soda. With the change, I pulled out the ad I had cut out the night before. I happened to look at the opposite side first. It read, "Psychic reading. Get a soul check-up. Find out what’s really going on."

I arrived at the address after some struggle to find it and park. It was a tall Victorian house with a steep roof. I was extremely nervous and excited at the same time as I knocked on the door. An attractive woman with long straight blond hair answered. She was very gracious, although her manner seemed a little forced. She said, "Hello, you must be the readee…."
In the reading, two men sat across from me and a woman–the scribe, I was told–sat in the back, coloring with crayons on a clipboard. Another man stood in back, sometimes giving psychic instructions to the readers to set up their space. In the middle of the reading, the door unexpectedly opened and Reverend Bill walked in. I later learned he was the founder.
He was a short man, and he was starting to get a belly. He had a military look and posture. He had a flat, square, earthy face with pock-marks. He instantly commanded the attention of the room. All the readers went silent and sat up straight. They put their hands palm-up, in the position of meditation. Just the fact that Rev. Bill would come into a reading seemed to mean that something special and unique was going on.
He began to admonish the readers, telling them that I was a very sensitive and aware man, and that they had to read me with greater care and sensitivity or they would look foolish. He spoke sternly to them, talking about clairvoyance and chakras, and how important what they were doing was. I understood nothing about it at the time, but I was very excited to see the inner workings of this spiritual place. I was impressed by how charismatic and disciplined he was to command such respect. I thought, "He must really know the truth." I was amazed and thrilled.
Then he began reading me! He seemed to peer deep into me as he spoke, and I felt tremendous warmth. I didn’t take in much of what he said, as he spoke to me at some length. Then he said, "I see that you are very close to your soul mate. You and her are coming into the same circle. She is very close to you."
I said, "I am married. Why are you telling me that? I love my wife.
He repeated what he said before. "I know you do. But I see that you are now very close with the realm of your soul mate. You are both now in the same circle…." Then he left and the others continued the reading.
At the end, they asked me if I had any last questions. I searched my heart, trying to find just the right question. "Am I on the right path in my life?" I asked. As I asked this, Rev. Bill came into the room again and answered, saying, "Yes, I believe you are on the right path, but you need to understand the deeper meaning of things. You are a spirit and not that body. You need to be around people of like mind, and prosperity will begin to flow for you. I sense you want more certainty and confidence in yourself. What you see in me is in you. You can have this teaching. I suggest you take a meditation class with the ministers, here. You are a very capable man. As a matter of fact, how would you like to come next week to the Clairvoyant training class?"
He waited for me to answer.
"I’d like that," I replied.
"Good," he said. "Then we will see you Wednesday. Remember, you don’t have to take all this so seriously. If you are not having fun, then you are not doing it right. God bless you."
I left feeling a little confused and awkward, but I also felt privileged and excited that he had invited me into the Clairvoyant training class. I felt I had found something that was incredibly special and spiritual. This place was on the cutting edge, and I wanted to be part of it.

"This teaching," announced Rev. Bill," is for the top .01% of the planet. Without this kind of consciousness I am showing you right now, the planet would cease to exist. All is energy. That’s what the angels do–they read energy. The psychic and spiritual realms need this enlightened consciousness that I and a few others carry, to keep balance in the universe. Without it, the universe would implode. By reading and studying this teaching, you are helping to carry on this consciousness."
Then he suddenly barked out loudly, and with incredible passion and anger. "It’s essential to the survival of the planet! You must understand this! Reading is the fastest way for you to gain a clear consciousness!" When he said this a silent hush of respect went through the room, as everyone turned inward. I felt deeply offended and impressed at the same time. I was impressed by the importance of what he was saying and his passion, but my manhood felt threatened. I didn’t know what to do.
Then he completely changed his tone to confidential amusement. "Wow, sounds like I really mean it. Look at Steve, he’s shocked. You must be very capable to mock-up being in this group for your first class. Don’t worry, we don’t bite. It takes a lot of energy for people to get through those doors. There is a lot of dense energy out there, but we work on the energy here to be a safe haven for the sensitive. Have you started losing any of your friends and family yet, Steve?"
I didn’t know exactly what he meant or how to answer this. I said, "I don’t know. Maybe some?"
He said, "Don’t worry, you will. It happens to everyone. Those that are really your friends will stay, and those that aren’t will go. Everything sorts out according to spiritual law, in this teaching. Those that aren’t your friends fade out of your life, and you make new ones who are kindred in spirit. They are part of your spiritual family, which is what we have here."
I hoped to measure up to what he was saying. I began to think of family and friends who might not really be my friends. I wanted to feel part of a meaningful spiritual family.
He went on talking for a long time about how important reading was. He spoke in a rambling, rapid-fire manner, with a lot of intensity. At times he changed the course of the talk to correct or chastise certain ministers, sometimes with amusement and sometimes with severity. I sensed people looking at me when this happened. Perhaps he was curbing himself because of my presence. Some of what he said to people could be construed as very insulting, and again I felt deeply offended. I felt I should say something to establish my presence, but it was hard to penetrate the intensity of his aura, and I didn’t feel confident. I wondered to myself why an enlightened man had to talk so much. I was tired of sitting.
The class finally ended around 11:00 pm. Everyone said I must be very capable to be in such an intense class my very first time.

# # #

As a baby I loved all of life, and I felt completely worthy of love. I could feel the presence of God. I unequivocally knew I had a special place in the universe. I knew I had a purpose and an astounding use, full of goodness. As a child I still knew these things, but they were a little more distant. The knowledge crept into my head and was less in my heart, and I became confused and conflicted. I thought it was right there, that I could retrieve it at any time; but it was much further away than I thought. I still had passion for life, but I doubted that I was worthy of love. A hole was burned in my soul, and it caused atrophy and weakness. I thought I could overcome it, but it had far more power than I knew.

# # #

When I was an older child my family moved to the Azores. For us kids, the whole move was shrouded in fear and uncertainty. My parents prepared us for it for months. To help sell it to us, especially my younger sister who deeply resisted the move, our dad said that we could have a horse. We asked what kind of horse, and if we could have two. He said that it was kind of a small horse, and that it might have some kind of foot disease. We asked if we could ride it. He said maybe. In my mind, I saw the Azores as a dark, muddy place that rained all the time, with a ratty horse waiting for us that was half-dead.
It seemed like the move over there took days and days. We flew to New Jersey, which seemed like a stark labyrinth of loud people and grey buildings. Finding our luggage was a nightmare our mother could barely stand, and us kids were utterly dependent on our parents. We were each assigned to hold and protect a bag. Then we flew to Germany–for some reason, in a military cargo ship, which had hard metal seats. It was a long and tiresome ride, but strangely comforting to me in a way. We flew thousands of feet in the air over the ocean, seemingly lost in rainy, dark space. The place was shaped like a fat whale and kept hitting what felt like bumps. I got out of the seat and curled up on the floor among the suitcases. I had no choice but to submit to the danger, loneliness, and powerlessness of my circumstances. I had nothing but time, which was like resting in the bosom of God.

# # #

My wife was not happy about my going to the church. "It’s bullshit," Kathy yelled. "Everyone thinks so but you."
Now I was angry. "It’s not bullshit. It’s a good thing!"
Then she said, "Steve, do you want to be in this psychic Church, or do you want to be with me?"
This hit me square in the head. I couldn’t speak. I hated to have to choose. I was terrified of leaving her. I would lose so much. I didn’t want to be away from my daughter, but I couldn’t take it anymore. I was a morass of confused feelings. The sense of essential goodness I had known as a child was lost and adrift. Deep down, I didn’t know what I was doing, but I pretended like I did. Everywhere I stepped, it seemed like I was treading on hot coals of pain, shame, and stress, so I just moved forward, hoping foolishly, and got taken in by the undercurrent.
I told Kathy, "I can’t decide that right now." Kathy started crying. I was torn to pieces, inside, but I thought I owed it to myself to get the teaching. I thought it was a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity, and I didn’t want to be one of those that couldn’t have it.